40 Pounds Lost, I don't Plan on Finding Them

This was me, in 2008.

The sad part is, this isn't even me at my heaviest.

I actually had another baby in 2009 and put on about 

20 more pounds.

I was miserable, I hated looking at myself in a mirror.

Let alone have pictures taken of myself.

I felt like I was always doomed to be the fat girl.

Especially going to my in laws.

I once broke a chair.

At their house.

I was MORTIFIED!

I hated shopping for clothes.

Nothing I liked ever fit me.

I am 5'3 and I have really short legs.

So to find pants that would fit me in the waist. 

They would always drag on the ground since I wasn't tall enough for them.

I cried alot about my weight.

Looking at this picture I can see how uncomfortable I am.

I am trying to hide how ugly I felt.

I tried a bunch of crappy trendy diets.

They all promised the same thing.

Lose weight fast!

And while I did lose ten pounds at first.

I was starving myself.

One diet I ate plain chicken and spinach all the time.

Oh and boiled egg whites.

Which the thought of makes my stomach turn now.

The SSG said to me one night,

'Can you see yourself eating like this for the rest of your life?'

It hit me like a brick wall.

If I had to eat plain spinach and egg whites for the rest of my life I would

DIE!!!

Not just because I wouldn't get the essential nutrients my body needed.

But because I love food that much!

So I ate like a crazed lunatic for a few days.

Then on Friday March 6, 2011 at 10:30 a.m. 

I headed on down to my local Weight Watchers.

It was exactly what I needed.

A lifestyle change, not a diet.

And here I am 

40 pounds and much, much, MUCH happier later.

I feel comfortable in my skin.

I can wear white!

I haven't done that since I was a teenager.

I can run around with my kids.

The best feeling was when my oldest boy was able to wrap his arms all the way around me.

To give me a big hug.

This is a journey that I am glad I was brave enough to face.